Tag Archives: Twitter

The Grammys & Twitter: Do I Laugh or Cry?

I’m sure you have seen by now the screenshots of the idiotic remarks on twitter last night. One batch was about girls, children, who tweeted crap like “Chris Brown is so hot I wish he’d beat me!” and other things they’re just too ignorant and immature to understand the offensiveness of. I’m not going to get into that, because that would be one hell of a blog post.

No,  I’m talking about this phenomenon of idiots who are resistant to Google, for whatever reason.
Apparently “just Google it” has turned into “just ask on twitter and wait for someone else to Google it for you.” Anyone who has ever been on Yahoo Answers will attest to this, as your physical urge to punch someone/something rises with every post read. Don’t ever go on Yahoo Answers. Just don’t.

Look at this.

I have nothing left to say. I bet they try and CTRL+F textbooks.

It’s not even a Paul McCartney-specific thing. How many times have you posted something like “Yeah I love this new song by the Sexy Tigercats*” and someone asks “whut r they a band”

*Fake band-name, aka my future girl group I dreamed up as a delusional child. I would advise against Googling that. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

For those of you who think like me, take note of http://lmgtfy.com/ and http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/, the most beautifully useful websites ever.

I will never understand this. Here is my totally lame cartoon that was funnier in my head (my graphic design-studying boyfriend left his adobe-[legitimately]-equipped-laptop at home, and I couldn’t resist). Missing are various Justin Beiber CDs, as I couldn’t put myself through drawing those on this trackpad.

Enjoy.

I can now use Illustrator, be warned.

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My English Class Supplement: Ferris Bueller’s New Ad

How much did you groan every time your English teacher would request an analysis of vague symbolism in an old book? I remember a good hour-long rant one of my more eccentric English teachers went on about the snake-clasp belt buckle in Lord of the Flies. Of course, I hated it at the time, but now that I’ve been out of school for a year and out of English class for two, I miss it. I miss weaving my words and creating connections between any two seemingly unattached things or events, and getting an awesome mark for it.

So, hey, why not write about Ferris Bueller?

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard that Matthew Broderick has starred in a Honda commercial as Ferris Bueller. If you haven’t, well, here it is: (and please, get Twitter or something. It’s 2012!)

 

If you haven’t seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I have to question why you’re even here and not crying yourself to sleep or something. Go watch it, you will thank me later.

Let’s see. The original movie has Ferris skip school to spend the day in downtown Chicago with his friends, after taking his friend’s dad’s 1961 Ferrari GT.

This commercial features a friend-less Matthew Broderick jump in his super-cool Honda CR-V and spend the day by himself while avoiding his boss.

Well, we all know that getting old sucks. Really sucks. Are we supposed to believe that this is some awesome sequel to the best movie of Broderick’s youth? Are we supposed to appreciate the throwback, and idolize the actor and his rebelliousness now?

He trades this:

For this:

And these:

For…well…a big stuffed panda bear(?)

Shall we even get into how this is a complete sell-out?

So, kiddies. Don’t grow up. You will lose all your friends, have a mid-life crisis where you think buying a reliable compact Japanese SUV is the coolest thing you could do, and will let corporations pay you money to sell out your old dreams and ideas. You will supplement your misery by occasionally skipping work and desperately trying to re-create the spontaneous adventure of your youth, but all alone.

Or maybe you’ll just have some fun driving your cool new SUV around the city. Whatever.

Life’s too short to overanalyze.

Okay, I guess I’ve lost my touch.  Good thing I’m not going back to school for literary analysis.

Why A Single Mac Program Will Save Me

We all do it. How many countless hours have you spent studying, only to be prolonged by interludes of mindlessly refreshing Facebook or Twitter?

It’s like a comfort blanket that we can’t let go of. Those physiology terms are messing with your brain? Stop the osteocyte talk for a minute and see what your friends are up to online. That’s much better, isn’t it?

But, for many of us, it has almost ruined us. It’s like a drug. You can’t get away. It takes an enormous amount of willpower to just…stop. The biggest mistake I made in first year was taking my laptop to class. The notes I did take on powerpoint slides got lost forever in a sea of poorly-organized and over-saturated files on my desktop. I should have just brought a notebook. Good ol’ pen and paper. Nothing beats that. (Vague Simpsons reference alert!)

Last week I discovered this program for Macs, called Self Control. I only bold it because it’s just so funny and sad that a computer program has to be in charge of something we should all be able to do by now. Oh well, that’s 2011 for you.

You don't mess with it.

It’s very simple. You add some websites to your “blacklist” and the program will not allow you to access them for whatever amount of time you choose. You cannot get around it. Closing the program doesn’t work, neither does restarting you computer. It’s like a built-in preschool teacher, yelling at you to stop screwing around.

I turned it on today while working on an admissions letter, and got an entire rough draft done. The amount of times you have an urge to check Facebook will astound and probably sadden you, so get used to asking yourself “what is wrong with me?”

Too bad I’ve still got my smartphone. I guess I’ll have to take some responsibility for myself, right?

You can download it here