Tag Archives: Opinion

Not Even Surprised: My 5 Minutes With the MTV Movie Awards

Last night, after a stunning episode of Mad Men* that left me with my jaw on the floor, I decided to tune into MTV to catch some of the Movie Awards or whatever they are.

*insignificant “spoiler” photo at the bottom

I kind of half-watched Jennifer Aniston tell me how awesome it was that she got to be evil in Horrible Bosses (a movie that inspires a ridiculous amount of rage in me, but I’ll save that for another day) and win an award for it. Then there were a few awards and a guy from The Hunger Games or something. Eventually, out comes the “best kiss” category.

Oh, Ron and Hermione’s kiss from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is nominated? No contest.

Skip to 1:08

These are two characters my generation has grown up with. The first movie came out when I was in fourth grade, the last one when I was just finishing up my first year of university. We’ve followed and loved these characters for years, and finally this scene gives the viewers what they’ve been speculating about and hoping for. I repeat, no contest. That is, no contest when you’re polling people over the age of 12, but…

…but then they called out the actors from Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 and I shut the TV off and went to sleep.

In other news, Mad Men was amazing and terrifying and devastating all at the same time. Not all was lost on cable that night. 

Yes, that is that creepy kid named Glen Bishop.

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Enough With This Weather!

I’ll remind you once again that I live in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

O_O

(25c=77F, for you Americans/pre-metric Canadians.)

This is insane! My birthday falls on Saturday and I vividly remember years spent battling snow storms to get to the bowling alley (it was the cool place to party as a 3rd grader, okay?). I mean, I enjoy this weather. I could just as easily be stuck in my parka cursing at the city’s overuse of boot-ruining salt.

On the other hand, if I’m not outside 24/7 or if I have something to do, I feel like I’m just wasting it. I know it’s going to get cooler before summer, and it might even snow in April. It’s happened before!

It’s the idea of “better soak it all up now before it goes away again!” that makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I just want to sit inside and write, sometimes I have appointments to go to. For those of you sitting in a lecture right now, wishing you were outside, you know what I mean. You’ll feel guilty for not enjoying the weather, and guilty for skipping class or putting off that essay to go outside.

At least I got one good day in of enjoying the sunshine!

Oscar enjoying the lake down at the Bluffs:

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And one exhausted dog in the car on the way home:

20120320-122258.jpg

There are three little patches of chives that have already come up from last year, too: 20120320-122309.jpg

Not complaining, chives are one of my favourites. If only basil wasn’t an annual…

There’s an interesting and somewhat depressing article in Macleans about how the good ol’ Canadian winter may be coming to an end. As much as I loathe scraping the ice off my car when I’m late for work, snowboarding (my tailbone will never recover), and other various winter-related things, there’s something very sad about the prospect that this winter may become the norm.

I mean, how else are we going to relieve the February blues when there’s no ice to watch people slip on?

My English Class Supplement: Ferris Bueller’s New Ad

How much did you groan every time your English teacher would request an analysis of vague symbolism in an old book? I remember a good hour-long rant one of my more eccentric English teachers went on about the snake-clasp belt buckle in Lord of the Flies. Of course, I hated it at the time, but now that I’ve been out of school for a year and out of English class for two, I miss it. I miss weaving my words and creating connections between any two seemingly unattached things or events, and getting an awesome mark for it.

So, hey, why not write about Ferris Bueller?

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard that Matthew Broderick has starred in a Honda commercial as Ferris Bueller. If you haven’t, well, here it is: (and please, get Twitter or something. It’s 2012!)

 

If you haven’t seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I have to question why you’re even here and not crying yourself to sleep or something. Go watch it, you will thank me later.

Let’s see. The original movie has Ferris skip school to spend the day in downtown Chicago with his friends, after taking his friend’s dad’s 1961 Ferrari GT.

This commercial features a friend-less Matthew Broderick jump in his super-cool Honda CR-V and spend the day by himself while avoiding his boss.

Well, we all know that getting old sucks. Really sucks. Are we supposed to believe that this is some awesome sequel to the best movie of Broderick’s youth? Are we supposed to appreciate the throwback, and idolize the actor and his rebelliousness now?

He trades this:

For this:

And these:

For…well…a big stuffed panda bear(?)

Shall we even get into how this is a complete sell-out?

So, kiddies. Don’t grow up. You will lose all your friends, have a mid-life crisis where you think buying a reliable compact Japanese SUV is the coolest thing you could do, and will let corporations pay you money to sell out your old dreams and ideas. You will supplement your misery by occasionally skipping work and desperately trying to re-create the spontaneous adventure of your youth, but all alone.

Or maybe you’ll just have some fun driving your cool new SUV around the city. Whatever.

Life’s too short to overanalyze.

Okay, I guess I’ve lost my touch.  Good thing I’m not going back to school for literary analysis.

Ankle Pants and an Awkward Childhood

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but in the past year or so, these so called “ankle pants” have sprung up everywhere. Instead of going into any trendy store and expecting everything labelled “pants” to be full-length, you now have to compete with these icons of idiocy. Let me explain.

I am 5’8″ (I think. Maybe 5’9″?) and I’ve always been the “tall, lanky one.” I haven’t always loved it. Already being an awkward, greasy, acne-ridden pre teen with glasses, being the tallest one around wasn’t helping anything. It felt like I was spending years trying to find pants that wouldn’t make me look stupid with one or two washes. Nothing looks dumber than bellbottoms (sorry, “flares”) that are 2 inches too short because you bought them at Wal-Mart and they shrunk. Pair that with clunky, black, thick-heeled “dress” shoes, also from Wal-Mart, and I was a mess. I’d spend whole days tugging at my pants so they would actually cover my ankles and hide my bright white socks.

The tactile sense of even trying these things on and feeling the horrible air on my ankles is enough to make me uncomfortable. It’s against everything I’ve ever thought was true and just about low-end fashion.

However, stores like Urban Outfitters, I guess I should thank you for making “awkward” cool again, in a way. Maybe there’s an 11 year old girl right now who, also awkward and greasy, doesn’t care that her Wal-Mart skinny jeans shrunk two inches because it’s cool. And that’s one less horrible thing to worry about when you’re one of less genetically gifted.

Lovely.

*Tangent Warning* I still hate them with a passion. What are you supposed to do in the winter? Don’t even get me started on open-toed boots.

????

…Seriously, though. What idiot thought these were a good idea? I bet they were invented in L.A.
If it’s cold enough for boots, your toes will freeze off. If it’s warm enough for an open-toe look, imagine all the foot sweat that is saturating the sides of those things. *Tangent Over*
Maybe I’m just too practical for the world of fashion.