Tag Archives: Lists

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Revisited

Every time I stumble upon some old journal, I’m amazed at two things.

1. What the hell was I even thinking? I wrote one entry in a school journal about why I want Pokemon to be real.
2. Wow, my attention span was short. There’s always about a week or two of everyday entries, followed by a 3 months of nothing, followed by an entry that starts “wow it’s been a while.” Predictable me.

Here are some answers to the fateful question about my future career I’ve found or remembered:

Veterinarian, like every other 10 year old girl.

Video game tester. Is that even a thing? Wow. I dreamt big.

Graphic designer in advertising. More recent. This persisted until I figured out that really, I’m not that clever.

Art director in print.  Also extremely recent. This one was crushed by the dwindling print industry and my reluctance to learn anymore HTML or web design beyond basic tables.

Journalist. Again, quashed by the “dying art of print” idea going around.

Surgeon. Inspired by M*A*S*H and ER. They just made it look so cool. And then, high school chemistry came along…

Psychologist. Grade 11 anthro/sociology/psychology class was probably the only interesting class I’d ever taken in high school. I figured I’d be good at listening to people’s problems. “Psychiatrist” was in the running, but you need med school for that. We all know med school needs chemistry. *gag*

Nurse. This was born out of my love of medicine but hate of chemistry. The fact that a lot of employees at my mom’s workplace, aka hell on earth aka the largest phone company in Canada I don’t want to name, had degrees in things like psychology is something that lead me to nursing. I did not want to get stuck at a shitty job with a useless degree because I couldn’t find anything else. It’s my worst fear. Oddly enough, it looks like a lot of nurse graduates from the program I was in had hard time finding full time work. Oddly enough, since the province keeps crying that we don’t have enough nurses but apparently they won’t hire any more? Hmmm…

I’m sure we all have crazy lists like this. Please share! Growing up, no one hopes to become a senior analyst (what is that, even?) or a marketing coordinator. Well, maybe some kids do.

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The 5 Best Songs on The Simpsons

My parents were never too strict about the “14A” ratings on various TV shows. And for that, I am thankful. I grew up watching The Simpsons with most of the jokes flying over my head, but I still loved it. Every night at 5 on CBC they used to play an episode. Missing it was not an option.

Sure, we can argue all night about if the new episodes are still as funny. But we can all agree on one thing, the first seasons were just so great. I mean, have you ever met someone who claims they don’t like The Simpsons? Well, I’ll tell you something. They’re lying through their pretentious, veneered teeth.

Here are my favourite moments from The Simpsons to distract you from all the stupid new shows on TV now. (If I have to watch another commercial for “Whitney” I am going to go Elvis-style on my TV.) Have a look back and remember how the world used to be, before they had to add a stupid “this show contains violence, coarse language, etc” warning before each episode. Kids have been watching TV for years, but apparently only recently parents have been wanting the TV networks to do the actual parenting for them. Hmm.
(I’m sorry, but if your 6 year old child is watching sitcoms at 3am and you are unaware, those warnings are not going to help anything and you should probably be a better parent.)

5. “Canyonero”

“Can you name the truck with 4-wheel-drive? Smells like a steak and seats thirty-five.” Yes, yes I can.
If this clip doesn’t make you think of all the overweight soccer-moms who nearly run you off the road on their way to Starbucks, then please, tell me where you live. I want to move there.

4. Bart and Milhouse go on a Bender: “Springfield, Springfield”

Super sugary squishee? Check. Crazy, innocent fun? Check. Every child’s dream? Check. (Except for the waking-up-as-a-junior-camper thing.)

3. Mr. Burns: “See My Vest”

The ultimate villain song sung by the ultimate villain.

2. The Stonecutters: “We Do”

It is because of this song that I keep getting the real-life Masons and the Stonecutters mixed up. (Although, I’m sure this is a real-life Stonecutters club somewhere.)

1. “Monorail”

More relevant than ever in Torontoeveryone knows the Monorail song. When has a town getting scammed ever been so damn catchy?

Honourable mention:

“Spring in Springfield”

A good, ol’ fashioned sing along about a burlesque house. Pure goodness. This song, one of the best, unfortunately is lacking a full upload on YouTube. I figured each song on my list should at least have a fair representation in their videos.

Now, is it possible to have all of those songs stuck in your head at once? Good luck. *evil laughter*