According to Wikipedia (I only use the best resources for my blog), we are Generation Y. This roughly includes people born in the ’80s and early ’90s, if my loyal online encyclopedia is being truthful.
I realize I’m not a revolutionary by pointing out that sometimes people my age are ridiculous, but hey, it’s 2012 and all the original ideas have been used.
Some things I just don’t understand:
1. Wearing sweatpants or *gasp* pajamas outside. To go see people. Or go out to eat. Yes, I own sweatpants and even pajamas, but they for the house, to get the mail, or to walk the dog.
I wore sweatpants to school ONE DAY in grade 5. I remember it vividly. They were light heather grey with a light blue stripe running up the side. I was feeling uncomfortable all morning, and then our very well-dressed French VP came in to visit the class. Seeing her in all her Holt Renfew glory made me feel like a bum, so I went home and put on jeans at lunch. I never wore them again. Even on pajama days in elementary school, I was too uncomfortable to leave the house wearing PJ pants. Maybe that’s just a deep-rooted mental issue with me, but people, put on some goddamn normal pants!
2. Dubstep. Okay, this is obvious. Mostly, I don’t get the obsession with Skrillex. What is cool about this guy, who used to be part of a screamo band? You can’t even sing along, what is this nonsense? I could do an entire post on music. I’ll save that for later.
3. Modern video games* I kind of gave up on buying new systems after the GameCube, and even that I picked up with my Christmas money a year later for a used price of $80. From what I’ve observed from my boyfriend’s PS3, these new games are like mini-movies and have absolutely no multiplayer (or if there is one it is the lamest thing ever) so you’re forced to only befriend people who have their own PS3s and the game itself. And can we implement a mandatory “skip” button for the cut scenes? I JUST WANT TO PLAY THE GAME. I would express my love for my N64 but I don’t want to come off as a douchebag hipster. (Super Mario 64 was the best game of all time, just saying.)
*Portal 2 was actually pretty okay.
4. The beautiful orange skin/bleached hair combination. This isn’t unique to me, most people I talk to also don’t understand. That doesn’t stop it from happening, though. Do these girls enjoy looking like fake, plastic barbie dolls? Or was a genuine accident with a drunken hair stylist or a fall into a vat of tanning lotion?
5. iPods 24/7. Yes, I have an iPod, and now an iPhone. I brought it to high school a few times, but the cords tangling were more hassle than they were worth. I don’t care if you listen to your iPod, but it’s the people who act like they cannot live without it I don’t understand. It’s the kids with the earbuds in (whether music is playing or not, it’s still rude) who are trying to answer the clearly annoyed cashier’s questions. It’s the kids who freak out and argue for half an hour with the teacher about why they should be allowed their iPod in class. It’s the oblivious people who have their shitty music on so loud on the subway at 7am that you can hear it through their earbuds when you’re standing 20 feet away.
Hey guys, you will not melt like the wicked witch of the west if you take your earbuds out for an hour. Trust me, you’ll be okay. And the dubstep will still be there when you get back.
I’m not a complete recluse from people my age. I do go on the Facebook, I Twitter, and I make the blogs.* I can whip up a fine batch of jello shots and waste a whole afternoon looking at university memes on Facebook. I’ve also seen Harry Potter, so don’t come to remove my Generation-Y membership card just yet!
This is satire. I repeat, this is satire. Do not be offended.